Kichu habijabi!

Aaj anek din bade likhchi. Bachor dui bade. ashole anekdin dhore likhte chaichilam, parchilam na. dekhi aaj pari kina! akta santo, literally nishobdho, sunday bikel. pasher red brick er deale rojkar matoi shesh belar roddur poreche. or kache weekend bole kichu nei. roj e or janmodin, abar roj e or mrittudin: natun kare abar janmanor jonno. weekend ekhane akta big deal, sab chuti guloke weekend er sathe jure akta baro chuti banano hoi. tai kono ‘Day’ specific kichu nei ekhane ‘weekend’ ache. hoito week er majheo chuti hote pare eta keu ekhane bhabteo pare na. sabtai akta rule e badha, chutitao. kintu ta sotteo sabai independent: kono rule nei, badhon chara.

akhon IPL cholche bole hoito ami India ke aro beshi kore miss korchi. roj ‘joy baba piracy’ er kripai IPL er match gulo dekhi. tabe dekhe jatota na bhalo lage, tar cheye anek beshi lonely lage: ichha kare TV screen er bhitor diye dhuke mathe chole jai, gala fatai KKR r DD er jonno. kintu science akhono otota improve kareni! 6 ba 4 hole je chachabo shetao possible na. aka aka chechano paglamir lakkhon! tai fire jao virtual chachano te: mane facebook e chechao, gala phatao, argue karo. mone ache last year World cup final er din ami aka aka khela dekhchilam. baba piracy dev shedin jhamela korchilen. hidden truth etai je ami 40 over er par anekta live dekhtei paini. server e prochur lok: amar mato hazar hazar Indian cricket premi student der akmatro bharosha baba piracy dev. tai tar kripa pete majhe majhe problem to habei. jai hok, match ta India jitlo: world cup jitlo after 29 years, ami chechiyechilam. kintu shonar obviously keu chilo na. P was out for a conference. mone hochhilo akhoni baire giye celebrate kori, chechai, gala fatai. kintu baireta temon e nishobdhho chilo jamon aaj ache, jemon kaal thakbe.. roj e thakbe. mone ache parer Monday amader Gen-Bio lab er lab manager amai jiggesh korechilo: tomader ki akta baro match hoyeche na? cricket naki? Pakistan er sathe? ami kichu Indian cheleke bolaboli korte shulam. ami onake bojhanor cheshta korechilam India has won the world cup. kintu like most of the Americans, he also believe that cricket is basically nothing but India’s regional sport: commonwealth thing, kayekta desher modhe world cup jeta bole kichu hoina. ekhane cricket nei, thakbeo na konodin. ekhane Penguins ache, Steelars ache. super bawl e ‘world champion’ o hoi, prottek bachor, kono akta ‘football’ team.

Ami khub e typical ‘desi’. eta mante amar kono problem nei. I love Cricket, Bollywood and Indian food. Kolkatai thakte konodin e mone hoini eta akta big deal. ekhane  ashar por mone hoyeche. amar janoiko American sahapathir mone hoi  ami biased Indian. Ami sab samay India ke niyei pore achi. ‘American’ kichui janina, janteo chaina. amai she majhe majhei jiggesh kare omuk American song ta shunecho? tomuk movie ta dekhecho? ami shunini, ami dekhini. kintu sheta ki kono big deal? ami mostly Hindi (kichu Bangla) gaan shuni: typical Bollywood Hindi movie songs. sheta amar konodin nijer disadvantage mone hoini. or mone hoi etai amar problem. ami biased. shedin akta ‘F’ grade Hollywood musical dekhiye amai bole tomader Bollywood movie to erakom e hoi tai na? kathai kathai lokjon hat pa tule nachte shuru kare? park e gaan korte shuru kare. ami oke jiggesh korechilam konodin kono Bollywood movie purota dekhecho? o bole dakhar darkar nei.  Indian Restaurant e ja trailer dekhechi du-akta tatei r dekhte ichha kareni. bojho! achha eta bias na? naki Hollywood movie manei must be ‘A’ grade? ami Kolkatai thakteo dekhechi, akhono dekhi, sure future eo dekhbo, educated young Indians are always ashamed of saying that they like a masala Indian movie or masala Hindi daily soap. If you like Balaji soaps then you are down-market, housewife like; kintu if you like Modern Family ba Desperate Housewives then you are classy, new age Indians! Achha sotti e ki Balaji soaps r Desperate Housewives er modhe kono difference ache except the language? Amra nijerai jodi biswas kori Indian movies and soaps are down-market tahole akta foreigner er ki dosh!

Ami Biryani khub pachondo kori. hoito etao sotti am crazy about North Indian food. kintu sheta na haoyar kono karon ami dekhina. Amar upori-ucto sahapathir mone hoi etao amar bias. amar supposedly India food khele nesha hoi. ei neshata naki alcohol er mato. ami drink na korleo, Indian food naki amai alcohol er mato nesha dei, amar chokh naki bujhe ashe r ami tipsy hoye jai. bojho! ami ekhankar anek ke jiggesh korechi Indian food pachondo kina ba khai kina. Believe me jara khai tara Indian food tatotai pachondo kare jatota ami. Buger r pizzar theke anek beshi pachondo kare. Kintu jara khai na tara hazar rakom bahana kare. duto example dichhi: amar akjon sahapathir mate o Indian restaurant avoid kare karon okhane Hindi gaan chale; he feels alienated in his own country!!! amar akjon oti-potichito manusher mone hoi she jatobar Indian restaurant e gache tar order golmal hoyeche. ekhankar restaurant e jeta unheard of! well well well!!!

Hoito ami sotti biased, hoito noi. janina. tabe eituku jani jodi ami biased o hoi ami nijer desh ke niye biased. r ete kono dosh ache bole mone korina. ami atleast jor galai bolte pari ami typical ‘desi’ without any hesitation. I miss my India, my country, my city that provides plethora of entertainment for me, always, everyday – jekhane cricket akta regional sport na akta religion, jekhane trashy Bollywood songs baje sabjaigai without inhibition r jekhane rat 12 tar samay o Hasty Tasty er Biryani paoya jai!!!

 

conceptions and misconceptions…

Do you know the best thing about a night? How dark it may look like, how sad it may sound, it carries a hope: the hope of a new morning! bhoy raat gulo ke niye tai khub beshi kara uchit bole amar mone hoina. bhoy to kara uchit akta bright din ke: bright and sunny, happy and funny, karon oi sundar din ta niye asche agami rater barta! akta andhokar raat!
4th January 2008. Carbondale aste puro akta din legegechilo. Because of the adbhut railway system in US: jar poshaki naam Amtrak. Pittsburgh theke Carbondale aste hoy via Chicago. jara ei jaiga gulo niye familiar non tader knowledge er jonno boli Chicago is 6 hours from Carbondale and by car Pittsburgh is 9 and half hours from Carbondale nad 8 hours from Chicago. So, in short je jaigata actually 9 and half hours dure sekhane jete gele actually 8+6 = 14 ghanta travel korte hoy due to amtrak  plus an extra lay over of 7 hours. you do the maths now. jara India te train late kara niye rege mathar chul chirte chan tader jonno boli: Amtrak o always 2-3 hours late from the scheduled time, she din hok ki raat, roz ek hi baat!
Jai hok 4th January 2008 te amar prothom alap ei mahan traintir sathe, jar sathe alap kakhon jeno sweet and sour type long lasting relationship e porinato hoye gache last 2 bachore…
Carbondale akta choto ‘town’. keu Banga line er ‘town’ gulo te gachen? ei dharun Habra kinba Gobordanga? Carbondale facility hishabe Gobordanga r size e Machlandopur kinba Ashoknagar er theke baro to kichutei na!
Kolkata theke eshe amar prathom dakha US city chilo Pittsburgh, tarpor Cincinnati. Dutoi baro sahar tai gramer dakha ei prothom. Please gram bolte ranga mati imagine korben na: purodastur town like gram, but still gram!
     Carbondale e aaj puro duto bachor kete gache. trust me ami puro duto bachor ke amar blog e likhte parbo na, chai o na. just mann e clearly bhese thaka kayekta jinish likhbo.
Carbondale niye likhte boshle prothomei mone hoi Southern Hills er katha. amar USA te prothom nijer astana. ami winter e eshechilam tai prothom kayek mash feel korte parini, but summer time e jaiga ta sotti cheye dakhar mato. charidite sabujer jano mela lege jai r tar majhe dakha mele ekhane sekhane ghure barano deer group er. sudhu harin na, squirrel, nanan dharaner birds, kakhono kakhono rabbits r bobcat er dakhao mile jete pare. Darun lagto Southern Hills e thakte. amar gharer janalata beshir bhag samay kholai rakhtam. kato akaki dupur oi janala diye baire takiye katiyechi tar hisab nei: kakhono sakshi thekechi jal bhara akasher, kakhono ba shiter prothom snowfall er, abar kakhono shudui dekhtam ulto diker baritar baro size er doggy ta ke. roj bikele tar buri malkin er sathe berate beroto…sesh bikeler rod ta ke chute pere darun khushi hoye jeto doggy ta! shei sonali dupur gulo ke khub mann e pare, mann e pare shei chotto humming bird ta ke  j roj sakale asto amader apartment er samner gach ta te boste, kato shanibar sakal je oi pakhiguloke dekhte dekhte keteche taro hisab amar nei…jakhon barsha asto pasher dobata te aksathe hazaro frog deke jeto lagatar! sheta akta nice experience! ami jibaner 25 years city te katiyechi, amar baritao chilo rastar upor, tai ato kach theke nature ke dakhar saubhagya hoini. Southern Hills tai ato special amar kache. Southern Hills er arekta darun jinish chilo 9 am er bus ta! ami life e anek bus e chorechi. sure future eo chorbo but that bus was something special. Southern Hills e thaka beshir bhag student e international. oi 9 am er bus ta chilo school bus er mato. sabaike oi bus ta catch kortei hoto thik samay University te pouchanor jonno. keu ba adha breakfast kore, abar keu breakfast hate niye chore bosto 9 am er ‘school bus’ e. anno hate thakto cell phone. tate sabai continuous katha bole jeto nijer nijer barite kinba nijer friends der sathe in their own languages. eta akta experience jeta thik likhe bala hoito jaina: bhabte paro akta situation jekane kichu bangali banglai, kichu Tamilain Tamil e, kichu Brazilian Portugese e katha bole choleche r tar majhe kichu lok English ke bachiye rakhte nijer sadhho mato gala fatiye jachhe?
Samay jakhon thame/ ei matir dharai name/takhon dakhe aaj akaki sudhui ami/ ja chilo sab hariyegache, hokna jatoi dami…Will miss you Southern Hills always!
         Bolechi agei Carbondale niye likhte gele ami hapiye jabo kintu kekha sesh habe na. tai pick korchi. amar second pick amar TA experience! TA mane teaching assistant, soja kathai teacher der helper. ami hoito shei ‘lucky’ kichu grad student der modhhe pori jader project e taka nei r ashbar chance o nei… tai ami akjon ‘permanent’ TA. last 6 semester dhore ami parachhi, next 10 semester o poriyei jabo…tabe TA jinishta ami enjoy korechi Carbondale e. bhishon enjoy korechi. ami je course ta parai shetar lab instructor ami and luckily amar upor keu nei. ami nijei syllebus banai, practical prepare kori r grade kori. parate parate prochur student er kacha kachi ashte perechi. oder theke shunechi oder problems: both academic and non-academic. to be really honest ami problem jinish ta ke kakhonoi personal and professional hisabe divide korte chaina. karon barite haoya kono problem has its effect on your jab and similarly job front e barte thaka pressure can make your personal life hell! tai shunechi oder personal problems gulo. try korechi sadhho mato help karar. tar return e ja peyechi sheta amar jiboner one of the biggest achievements: jei achivement er kono certificate nei, kintu akta tight hug ache, nice smile ache. prottek sem er end e sabai amai kichu na kichu compliments diyeche but the one that surprised me the most was: “I want to change my middle name to R from A”. oi cheleta amake bolechilo o or babake respect kare kintu or baba or life e atota impact create kareni jatota ami korechi. same katha ami last week e amar ak chatrir kacheo shunechi. ami gurantee diye bolte pari erakom akta complement jekono certificate ba award er theke anek baro! whenever I taught, ami try korechi different kichu korte, to be unconventional. amar konodin e mone hoina 10 ta subject aksathe niye kono person 10 ta subject ei excel korte pare. kichu hate gona genious parleo parte pare. but very unlikely. jara Indian education system ke grade kendrik, ba full of pressure bole mann e karo, tader jonno boli, feel lucky je tomai USA er high fees r chap e bhara undergraduate study korte hoini ba hochhe na, kinba 2 saptaho bade bade 4-5 ta kore exam dite hochhe na! bolte paro akta chemistry major kano speech ba music class nebe as a compulsory coursework? ha sakh kore nite pare but should be for fun not for exams! kinba akta business ba engineering major kano biol115 nebe as a compulsory coursework? as a result it becomes very difficult for a student to learn anything and more importantly to remember anything. last week e amar class er 87% student fail korechilo Bio200 e. mone hoina percentage ta ektu beshi e high to be real? fault ta hoito oder noi hard educational system er. School theke hatat college e eshe pressure nite na parar! ami jakhon class e parai I always keep in mind je ami jodi oder 20 ta jinish aksathe boli tahole ora 19tai bhule jabe. tar theke oder jodi ami selected 5 ta most important concept bojhanor chesta kori hoito oder 5tai mann e theke jabe, atleast 4te. concepts are vey important in science, you need to know them: I can bet no one can remember the details of the concepts after they graduate but what they can remember is what the concept actually means, may be forever! ami amar ei philosophy Carbondale e try korechi. r success o peyechi.
Carbondale akta party place. sabsamay akta chutir mejaj! I like that a lot amar mone hoi atyadhik pressure diye kono bhalo kaaj hotei pare na. enjoy, have fun and keep your mind free, science ashbe, oi free relax mind ei ashbe, kono paper pore ba seminar er talk shune jeta asche na…
Last but not the least Carbondale mane amon akjon jini ashen Roberta kinba Solomon er aage, amar nana chena achena friends der aage, Dr. Kamal ero aage. Karon oi je blogtar prothome likhechilam bright din e raater barta niye ashe, unio amar jibane shei bright sunny day jini amake sab samay raater bhoy dakhan! hoito ami r Carbondale e thakbo na! may be r 1 month. Carbondale charar jonno pa bariyei achi. kintu sotti bolchi hoito Carbondale charar jonno atota desperate hotam na jodi na tini thakten… kintu tini achen, tini thakben. tai hoito r ami thakbo na…Will miss you Carbondale: kikare bhuli tumi amar $250 niye 2nd time US e asha buker dhukpukani kamiyechile, tumi amai shikhiyecho kibhabe survive korte hoi under pressure, kibhabe akta bright diner ashai andhokar raat take hashi mukhe katiye dite hoi…amar jibaner ei twilight period e tai tomake dekhchi ami mann bhore…please bhule jeona amake. please…

 

Firte firte abar fera!

16th October 20007. sakal takhono hoini. Mumbai airport e takhono boshe achi. mann ta kamon jano pagal pagal lagchilo. pagal kathatai exact term. tar karon amar takhonkar feeling ta r kono bhabe explain kara jabe na. anek kichu bhebe USA te gechilam. anek kichu r akta definitely to reach somewhere in terms of my career. kintu segulo kamon jano sab guliye gechilo. ami jantam na amar life kothai cholche…hoito life kichu anno rakom bhebe rekhechilo amar jonno…Mumbai airport e free wifi paoya jai! trust me eta akta big news. karon USA er kono airport er ‘free’ wifi actually free noi. jai hok I went online. inbox e besh anekgulo unread mail chilo, exactly mone nei kata, 4-5 habe. Instictively ami tar first mail ta ke ignore korechilam. ota SIU er MS program er acceptance letter chilo. oi email ta ami ageo peyechilam. sebaro ignore e karechilam. amar second Masters karar na kono ichha chilo na kono motivation. takhono jantam na amar future amar jonno ki bhebe rekheche…tar parer email gulo junks chilo. yahoo special junks! last email ta was shocking! ‘shocking’ hoito right adjective noi. ami ei shock ta hoito expect korechilam. ota UPitt er akjon prof er email chilo. onar amar CV, Personal statement etc pore mone hoini I am suitable for his lab. onar personal preference, ete amar kichui balar thakte parena. kintu shei muhurte ota shocking chilo karon ota amar ei dik na jana career er akta halka alo hote parto…I called P. takhon bodhhoi oder evening chilo. she was upset. very very upset. but desperately trying not to be upset…shetai hoito or jonno takhon obvious chilo. akta person je akta ajana deshe sampurno aka, tar kache nijer monte boka baniye rakha chara r ki upay thakte pare? 2-3 minute katha hoyechilo ISD booth e. tarpar r deri korini. je decision ta hoito ami before 16th december 2007, behush abosthateo nitam na, shetai nilam. I accepted the MS offer from SIU. amar lekha pore hoito mone habe jinishta ato ta baje kichu to na, ami atota over-react korchi kano? na US theke paoya MS offer hoito kono Indian student er jonnoi atleast baje news hote parena… manchi sheta. kintu amar jonno takhon ‘USA’ kono bhabei important chilo na. ami just concerned chilam amar disha namela career ke akta disha deoya niye. r shei point of view theke eta akta huge decision chilo. amar already akta Masters chilo. ami PhD korte cheyechilam. tai 2 bachor bade PhD pabo kina shei question mark te mathai niye MS offer ta accept kara akta baro bapar chilo. kintu shei muhurte amar shetai thik mone hoyechilo. in short, I was going back to US…Flight e othar age ami email korechilam UPitt er shei female Prof ke, regarding my application. jar answer ami pare peyechilam…
Indian airlines er flight ta jakhon Kolkatai reach kare takhon sakal 9 ta. Sashtir sakal chilo. airport was packed with people. lokjon puja te bari firche…shei hashi makha mukhgulor majhe akta klanto,hatash mukh amar khub chena. ma dariyechilo baggage claim er samne. sathe pishi r amar cousin chilo. ami nijeke jatota sambhob normal rakhar cheasta korchilam…taxite firte firte bishesh kono katha hoini. just make ami bolechilam December e abar fire jachhi…kathata bolchilam to kintu nijei kothao jano jishta ke niye comfortable chilam na. bari fire kichu khaini. it was one of those rare occasions, jakhon ami khoya ke neglect korechilam…nijer ghare dhuke shuye parechilam. jet lag chilo kina janina kamon adbhut feeling hochhilo…amder barir gali ta kano janina oakland er rastar sathe guliye jachhilo, hatchilam jano ‘Prince of India’ er samne diye…oi to Wendey’s…na America ke desperately miss korchilam na. konokalei kortam na. miss korchilam oakland er rastai P er sathe hata shei samay ta ke, Prince of India r adha bashi khabar kheye pare bekar kharcha karar jonno rai haoya ta ke…kanna pachhilo eta bhebe je P er sathe abar hoito dakha habe jakhon o India te asbe: hoito May, hoito December…janina kabe…amar fire jaoyar jonno desperate lagchilo.
bikale P der barite gechilam. P or ma babar jonno jinish kinechilo or first salary diye: ipod shuffle chilo, r mone hoi perfume chilo aunty’r jonno. jatokhhon chilam uncomforatble lagchilo. ei jonno noi je they made me uncomfortable, but I was very uncomfortable myself. ami amar current situation ta kichutei mene nite parchilam na…
pardin P phone korechilo.she was upset, very upset…ami jantam na oke ki bala uchit. I just told her je ami December e fire aschi. sedin pujote beriyechilam. Sanchita r Animikh chilo. Sanchitar barite gechilam. okhanei oder sathe meet kari. amake dekhtei sabar same question:exactly ki hoyechilo baloto? ami bolte chaini…ajo chaina. karon ami jani ami hajar bar bolleo karo kichu eshe jaina. 60% lok biswas korbe na amar sathe haoya ghatanata, bhabbe baniye bochi, actually chap nite na pere ei ‘mahan’ America theke fire gechi, r baki 40% bolbe aha bechara! erakom ‘exceptional’ ghatona ghatbe to ghatbe tomar shathei ghatlo! tai ami karo sathe takhon kichu discuss korte chaini. infact that was the first and last time ami 2007 er Durga pujai beriyechilam. amar last Durga puja in Kolkata was in short bizzare!
ami just wait korchilam kabe Laxmi puja shesh habe r ami USEFI jabo. jante now what? amar USEFI er experience was soja kathai funny! ami er age anekbar USEFI gechi amar mone hoina amai keu notice o korto bole. but that day I was the prince! amar jonno cold drinks elo, samosa elo…amar mohilatar naam mone nei, USEFI er higher post e chilo, amai bolechilo amar experience ta niye beshi discuss na korte. bolechilo eta ekta exception, eta niye jano beshi matamati na kori. she told me jodi amar next time visa pete kono rakom problem hoi, she will take care of that. amonki amai etao bolechilo jodi kono karone amar visa reject hoi, uni onar quota te amai US visa paiye deben. bus shart ek hi hai: chup raho! amar ki, ami ja bhogar to bhugeichilam, annoke janiye tader udhhar karar kono mane amar kache chilo na. r bolleo ki keu biswas korbe? US asha bandho korbe??? NO, in caps. ami chup chap chepe gelam. baire bishesh berotam na. roj sakale thik 10tai jetam cyber cafe te P er sathe chat korte. pray ghanta 2-3 katha hoto yahoo te. saradin lab r coursework er para karar par that was the break time for her. anek kichu niye katha hoto. tabe beshir bhagtai chilo kabe firbo sheta niye r fire ki karbo sheta niye. chat karar par chupti kare bari fire astam. deliberately lokjon ke avoid kortam. rarely kakhono karo sathe dakha hole ba keu jiggesh korle boltam chutite achi, December e fire jabo. thats it! the story of my first ‘Fall’ was buried in Kolkata!
Diwalir ager din ami natun I-20 ta pelam from SIU. amar bhalo lagchilo eta bhebe je abar P ke dekhte pabo, hate taka ashbe, career er akta disha ashbe. kintu mone prane chaichilam UPitt theke mohilata reply dik. 16th er par theke akhono porjonto tar kach theke kono email paini. pelam Diwalir din tinek bade. tatodine amar visa interview er din o thik hoye gache. uni likhechen uni student neben na. anno kono faculty nile nite pare. but the Program is very competetive, tai akhoni uni kichu bolte parben na. trust me that day I thanked my stars that I accepted the offer from SIU.

Visa interview dite jaoyar ager sarata rat ghum hoini. aktai question mathai ghurchilo, jakhon jiggesh korbe kano resignation diye fire ele, takhon ki bolbo? finally ami decide korechilam je amar hote hote na haoya PI er samparke ami kichui bolbo na, taka na paoya niyeo kichu bolbo na. sudhu etai bolbo je dharaner research ta  ami pursue korte chai sheta onar lab e hoina. r sab cheye baro katha ami akhoni PhD shuru korte chaina. age MS kore dekhte chai je ami research er jonno suitable kina. SIU er MS offer ta amar dhal hoye daralo! na visa pete kono ashubidha hoini.  SIU er dhal ta kaje legechilo! 12th november amar hate eshe galo amar natun US visa. ager ta was ‘cancelled without prejudice’.

tarpar akmash dhore abar chollo packing and repacking. P er jonno anek kichu neoya holo. abar amar bag duto grocery te r jama kapore bhore galo! air fare ta abar kono bhabe jogar hoyei gechilo. jeta jogar hoini sheta holo hat kharocher taka. ebar matro $250 chilo amar kache 1 month er beshi chalanor jonno. but I took the chance and decided to leave Kolkata with $250. last akta mash chutiye ghurechilam. hoito India te thakar total 2.5 masher modhe oi last 25-26 din e chilo jakho ami Kolkatai thaka take enjoy korchilam. Presidency-Zoology Department er reunion eo gechilam as the only candidate from 2004 batch!

10th December 2007. amar 2nd time Kolkata charar din. sakal thekei abar mann bhalo lagchilo na. shei ajana bhoy ta abar amar mathai chepe boshechilo. ki habe 2 bachor bade? abar uncertainty? taka ta thik thak pabo to ebar? honestly bolchi akbar moneo hoyechilo jaoya ta cancel kore di? na cancel korini. Kolkata theke Mumbai by Indian Airlines and from Mumbai to New York by Delta Airlines.

New York e nemechilam sakal 7 ta nagad. P ke phone korechilam. o takhon ready hochhilo Pittsburgh airport theke amai receive karar jonno. or sathe katha bolte bolte suddenly I started crying. First time after 17th october. tabe ei kanna ta aro joralo chilo. karon dukkhor sathe sathe sedin akta bhoy o  buk fete beriye aste chaichilo kannar modhhe diye: the fear called uncertainty of life, the fear called US of A! suddenly I felt I am spoiling the happiness of a girl who was probably waiting and planning for this day for last 2 months. nijeke khub selfish mone hochhilo. but nijeke control o korte parchilam na. Finally, 8:30 nagad flight cherechilo New York theke r Pittsburgh pouchechilo 9:45 nagad. I was literally running towards the baggage claim. P dariyechilo baggage claim er samne. pore chilo or natun kena red jacket ta!

 

My first ‘fall’

13th august 2007…sakal ta kamon jano marmare lagchilo. amader barir samner pachiltate halka rod porchilo. akash ta pray meghei dhaka chilo… amar mone kintu kono megh chilo na. natun sapner sonali alote natun kore jege uthechilo amar mann ta. yes that was the day I left India. I left Calcutta to come here in USA. jibonta badle jawar aporanne dariyechilam. sedin dudpureo P er bari gechilam. sesh muhurter packing chochilo…P upset chilo, sabhabik tai na? kintu ami chilam na. funny isn’t it? akta adbhut uddamata amar mone prane chepe boshechilo. aksathe anek kichu hate choleche…ami 1st time fly korbo, tao international flight, barir aatpoure jhamela gulo theke chuti ebar amar…balena sei je natun sapno hat bariye dariye ache…bikal theke hatat tumul bristi shuru halo…ki brishtitai na hachhilo sedin…gargi r garite airport jaoyar katha chilo. ma r amar pishi jabe amar sathe…amar sotti bolte ki r tar shoichilo na…rater flight chilo: lufthansa. calcutta theke frankfort hoye washinton dc. P er franfort hoye chicago… ei prothom amai kono flight e chorechilam…i was very excited. P kenechilo sedin check in er age. sahar ta charar jonno, ma ke charar jonno.. ami sotti bolchi amar kanna aschilo na.. e jano ak muktir aswad. Frnakfort e amar alada hoye jai. o chigo er flight dhorte jai ami dc er. that was the first time amar kamon akta legechilo. kamon akta bollam tar karon kamon legechilo takhon thik feel korte parini. jet lag hoito ba…franfort theke DC fly korte korte prottek sevond e shudu etai bhebechi kakhon Pittsburgh pauchobo. P er sathe dakha kakhon habe…
Finally, bikal 6:20 ET ami daralam Pittsburgh airport e-my first city in USA. P er sathe thik thak dakha hoye gechilo. thik thak samay bario pauche gechilam… tarpar tired amra shuye parechilam. kintu jet lag namok jantronata ghumatei dilo na. rat jege anekkhon katha bolechilam…
amar Cincinnati jaoyar kathachilo 13 days bade. sei 13 din Pittsburgh e chilam. sotti bolte ki khub bhalo lagchilo. sab kichu natun…sab kichu ulto…light er switch, walking style sabkichu. funny legechilo…
26th august 2006. amar Pitt ke biday deoyar din. ager din ratei packing sesh hoye gechilo. apeksha chilo to bas sakal haoyar. sakal 7:40 er bus chilo. My first trip in Greyhound! Cicinnnati jachhilam: to chase my dream…amar sathe Indian student association er agai katha hoyechilo. thik chilo ora amai 2 pm e Cincinnati bus stand theke pick up korbe. I was picked up by a cool Punjabi dud. or kach thekei jante parlam Ohio te akhono qurter system chale. qurter system mane year ke 4 part e divide kara hoi: soja kathai summer 4 month er 3 month er noi. tar mane takhono Cincinnati te summer cholche… USA er most states e semester chale tai summer 3 monther hoi. august theke fall. kintu Cincinnati te September theke autumn quarter shuru. soja kathai ami ektu age poche gechi Cincinnati te…
Panjabi cheleta amake drop korechilo Amlan der flat e. Amlan, Krish (na na super hero na: dari muchowala Krishnendu)der flat e: so called ‘Bengali Student Assiciation’. surprised chilam, Indian student assciation er modhhe abar bengali student association…jai hok amar thakar bandobasto hoyechilo upare dujon bango santaner sathe r khoyar babostha hoyechilo Amlan der flat e. ora amar bolechilo ami 3-4 din thakte pari oder sathe, tar modhhe amai nijer babostha kore nite habe. ami mone mone jantam 3 din na. kalkei ami bidai nebo. na hole porshu. sedin bikele amlan der balcony te dariye prothom bar amar Dept ta ke dekhechilam r rate uparer falt er balcony te dariye ghume achhono sahar ta ke bojhar chesta korchilam… rater parking lot er halta aloi amar barir samner it berono pachilta jeno bar bar matha tolar chesta korchilo. tari majhe kothao jano daiyechilo 4601 Bayard Street, amar USA er first city. na Cincinnati noi, Pittsburgh. rate P er sathe katha bolte bolte bar bar mon korchilo akkhoni chute beriye jete. parchilam na thakte ei dambandhokar flat ta te “18 ana bangalianar” modhhe: jara texus e boshe topse macher galpo kare.. Cincinnati Bengal er football dekheei karone khushi hoi je tar namer sathe ‘Bengal’ jure ache…nijeke bangali proman karar ki ashadharon prochesta!
Pardin sakal sakal Dept e gechilam. shei prothom dakha amar natun PI er sathe. naam sheta noi nai ba bollam. Whats there in a name? manush sab jaigai saman: desh bodle jai, samay bodle jai, manush ki badlai? tai to Tatiparar Tarun er sathe Texus er Tom er namer farak thakleo bhabnar farak khub akta nei…
Amar PI bhadromohilati khub e hashi khushi(?!) tini amai niye gelen oder Grad secretary er sathe dakha korte: jodi ami Autumn quarter shuru haoyar agei join korte pari tar jonno… Grad secretary bolechilo last bi-mothly pay check er date periye gache. amake join korte gele september 11th theke join korte habe jate ami 15th september er pay check er jonno eligible hoi. soja kathai amar hate besh kayekta din ache join karar age…I was verrrrrrrrrrry happy! Pittsburgh am coming! Grad secretary er sathe dakha karar par PI amar lab dakhate niye galo. Trust me that was the most shocking experience of my life! (by then, pare amon aro ghaton hoyeche, tai akhon ota r most shocking noi). Kichhu chilo na lab e. sorry lab na oi room ta te. kichu beaker, tuk tak glassware r gota dashek chemical er bottle. etai amar lab! by the way, Dept e akta ‘molecular lab’ ache, ora 5 jon faculty mile share kare…amar matha ghurchilo. eta to bujhtei parchilam lab e taka nei…PI ke bye kore Dept theke beriye eshechilam… mathai kichu akta khatke gechilo… sedin sara durup r bikal bari dekhechi and by night I found my first home in USA. $350 rent electricity extra but baki sab included. parer din theke thakbo okhene. sedin Amlan der flat e amar last raat chilo. katha hochhilo or aro kichu rommie r sathe. oder modhhe akjoner sathe katha bolte bolte NRI er akta natun full form bar bar mone hochhilo: not related to India. sotti era USA te thaker jonno sab kichu karte pare. je cheletar katha bolchi o Electrical engg e MS pass kareche 1 yr hoye gache. kono job paini. visa expire kare gache. akhon kono rakome tuk tak kaaj kare chalai…asha ei ‘country of opportunity’ te akta na akta jaiga to hoyei jabe r tarpar NRI status!
pardin rate natun barite move in korechilam. light chilo ta. karon electricity takhono chalu hoini… Amlan r Krish amake help karechilo. shedin oi natun barite andhokar rate na shaka bread chibote chibote Kuti-kakur dokaner garom kachurigulor katha khub mane parchilo…janina hatat e kandte shuru karechilam…je ami kolkata charar samay kandini, pittsburgh ke ta ta korte giye kandini, shei ami oi andhokar ghartai boshe kandchilam kono akta ajana bhoy e…
pardin dupurer bus e Pittsburgh. yay! darun lagchilo! abar dakha habe P er sathe: amar past er sathe, nijer sathe…tarpar kakekta din darun kete galo. ami mane mane decide karei felechilam next year theke Pittsburgh…
Firlam jakhon Cincinnati te takhon quarter shuru hoye gache. Campus ta gam gam korche. bhalo lagchilo. natun class, natun classmates..class korte amar barabor e bhalo lage. I was thoroughly enjoying the classes. jeta enjoy korchilam na sheta lab. amar PI er attitude amar adbhut lagto. amar pashe dariye amar phoner katha shunto. ki bujhto janina. akbar to bolei felechilo tumi lab er info baire pass korcho…bojho! je lab tai nei tar r ki info r kakei ba pass korbo. jai hok ami mukh buje sajhho korchilam. mane mane jantam next year e r Cincinnati na. sabcheye baro shocking bapar ta holo 17th september. ha amar pay check paoyar din! pelam na ami pay check! matha ghurchilo…ami first e Grad secretary er kache gelam: ‘she did not have any clue’. gelam pay roll e. oder pay check list e amar naam tai nei!! ora Dept theke early pay check er kono info e naki paini…ora bollo 30th September er paycheck ta tumi pete paro… 17 theke 30 ami Cincinnati te chilam. majhe majhei khoj nitam pay roll e… amar takao furiye aschilo…bari theke ana $2000 er matro $50 amar kache chilo…er modhhe PI more and more ashojhho hoye jachhilo amar kache. o ja balto, ja korto soja bhashai bolte gele ota chilo paglami! ki karte chaito janto na, ki bolto tar thik chilo na…28th September 2007. amar dinta ajo mane ache…ami fly food banachhilam niche common kitchen room e. hatat mahan PI elen darshan dite! I was surprised! generally kitchen e onar darshan paoya jaina. r darshan deoya manei kichu na kichu garbar habe. holo o tai! kintu amar mone hoini eta habe. uni hata amai bollen ei oven ta tolo. oven ta portable holeo besh bhari chilo. amai uni bollen uni amai help korben ota tulte…korlen o help! akta side tullo kintu suddenly chere dilo. ami pare gelam balance hariye r oi oven tar akta kona amar buke eshe laglo…it was paining like hell and she was laughing away!
pardin amar Pittsburgh jaoyar katha chilo. ei weekend tar jonno. monday P er first exam chilo. na taka amar bank e asheni…prochondo pain hochhilo buke. sheta niyei greyhound e chepechilam. P ke kichu bolini sedin. o porchilo and I was sitting beside her…
taka 3oth e asheni, 1st eo asheni. ami mone mone decide kore niyechilam US chere debo! monday P er exam hoye jaoyar par I told her everything. amader mathai kichui aschilo na. we were both new here.
3rd october 2007. it was by far the worst birthday of my life. P er takhon kar roomie (again naam e ki eshe jai?) nijer freeze e rakha akta chocolate cake ber korechilo amar katar jonno. ami keteochilam…kintu sudhui katchilam…oi meyetir pishi ekhane anek bachor achen, faculty. o amai bolechilo or pishir sathe katha bolte. boleochilam. uni ja bolechilen tar kichutar mane chilo kichutar kono manei chilona. amar jonno shei samay kono lawyer jogar karar na khamata chilo na taka. uni amke Pitt ei kono akta Dept er akjon bangali faculty er sathe katha bolte balechilen. pardin gechilam tar kache. akta kabita ache na ‘Sat koti sontaner a mugdho jononi rekhecho bangali kore,manush koroni’…sheta or sathe katha bole bar bar mone hochhilo. ‘khanti Bangali’ bolte ja bojhai akdom tai. khali onar biswas India er kichu haoyar noi…amake bolechilo eta ki India peyecho je taka debena??? ekhane esab hoina! clear cut statement. no confusion! amar PI er bapare shune balechilo je amar bhul sabcheye beshi, uni amar sathe ki karchen sheta baro katha noi, ami onar sathe ki karchi shetai baro katha. ami kano onake chere Pittsburgh e chole elam? onar chesta, science er proti nistha etc ke ami aghat karechi…etc. etc. ami simply ‘aschi’ bole chole eshechilam. sedin e jantam deshe firte habe…in the mean time Pitt er akjon mohila faculty er sathe katha hoyechilo! she was so excited seeing my CV etc. amar mone hoyechilo she was ready to take me. amar confidence firchilo. ekhon India firte holeo I can come back soon… parer 10-12 din kamon kore jane kete gechilo. moner bhitar bhoy chilo, hatasha chilo, rag chilo tar sathe here jaoyar dukkho tao chilo. ma ke anke kasto kare $1000 plane-fare jogar karte hoyechilo. sedin dupure Willium Pitt Union er main lobby te boshe chilam P er mac book ta niye. P lab e chilo. ami resignation letter type karchilam… Cincinnati ke bye karte bhalo lagchilo. kintu nijer kache here jachhilam…ami jani kibhabe $2000 jogar kara hoyechilo amar US ashar jonno…sedintar katha amar ajo mone ache, ami r P last bar er jonno Cincinnati gechilam jinish patro ante…sedin P er abhiman ta ajo amar mone ache. hoito o thik e bolchilo: ami Cincinnati te thakar aro kichuta chesta karte partam! janina. ami ki takhon paliye jete chaichilam?? kar theke? amar PI er theke? cincinnati theke? na USA theke?
16th october 2007. amar US charar din. sakal thekei mann ta upset chilo. P ke chare jaoyar dukkho chilo, nijeke haranor bhoy chilo, here jaoyar khob chilo…kintu tar sathe sathe kothao jani na kano US charar akta anondo chilo. 28X bus stand ta P er Dept er samne. Bayard street theke bus stand barojor 10 min er rasta. shei rastatai aaj kayek hazar kilomiter er mane hochhilo. surprisingly sedin bus er jonno darate hoini…bus e uthe janala diye P er dike takiyechilam. o kandchilo…or past er shesh connection tao 28X er saoyar hoye bidai nichhilo…amar kano janina akta mixed feelings hochhilo. hoito ami atotai upset chilam je kichui feel karte pachhilam na…sedin rater flight chilo: Newark theke Mumbai direct continental er flight…